I have felt a little at odds with my lack of writing as of late, thus the necessity to end that with a musing on the very issue seemed logical. This post has absolutely nothing at all to do with the Australian future-soul quartet, unfortunately I have that dreaded condition where often when I think of a word, in this case hiatus, it snowballs my stream of consciousness to music, literature or otherwise. Anyway, whilst simultaneously pondering my hiatus in writing and Hiatus Kaiyote I became intrigued as to the origins of their name and indeed the word ‘kaiyote’, to whit I had not the foggiest idea of its meaning. Nai Palm, the bands singer, explains as follows:
‘“Kaiyote” is not a word. It’s a made up word, but it kind of sounds like peyote and coyote – it’s a word that involved the listeners creativity as to how they perceive it. So it reminds you of things but it’s nothing specific […] A hiatus is essentially a pause, it’s a moment in time. So, to me, a hiatus is taking a pause in your life to take in your surroundings, have a full panoramic view of your experiences and absorbing, and “kaiyote” is expressing them in a way involves the listeners creativity.’
This struck me in mulitfarious ways. Firstly, I do enjoy an intelligently and thoughtfully named band. Secondly, the concept of inclusivity of audience within creativity is so important, particularly when it comes to music. Thirdly, I feel like I have been taking a hiatus in many respects as of late and I’m trying to perceive that, so Nai Palm’s description of what is simply a name began to take on a life of its own in my own personal context. There are so many thoughts and emotions that I can’t quite grasp at present, I guess that means my creativity (or lack thereof) should be high on my agenda.
I could cite many reasons as to why I’ve experienced a lapse in writing. My initial spurt was of course followed by a crisis in confidence. Not good enough. Whiny. Droney. Uninspired. Wanky. Then a minor heartbreak naturally clouded my ability to see outside my own little sphere of existence, albeit temporarily. The business of life too naturally steps to the fore, tiredness and responsibilities stemming any semblance of motivation. Finally, most recently, a bout of tonsillitis resulting in a temporary Japanese hospital visit and being put on a drip was the cherry on top.
Anyway, all of the above has helped me to re-evaluate why I should be writing. To process to a degree all that is happening, the mundane and the extraordinary, just for me. Then eventually, with time and practise, it may be at a point when I’m willing to share more openly and be more willing for other’s interpretation of my creativity. I may share my fictional pieces and poetry, who knows. As of yet, no family or friends have been made aware of these ramblings. Maybe that will change too. We’ll see. For now, I’m all at sea and this will serve as my float.
“I may not be as strong as I think, but I know many tricks and I have resolution.” Ernest Hemingway, The Old Man and the Sea